The Ripple Effect of Doing Your Own “Work” in Your Partnership
One of the best things you can bring to any relationship is a whole and healthy you. At Onsite we have discovered that when one person gets healthy, they often inspire and give permission to the people around them to do the same. This is especially true in our partnerships.
We believe doing your own emotional and mental health work is one of the most important things you and your partner can bring to your partnership.
Recently, we got the chance to hear from two alum, Chrissy and Sam, who shared the impact their individual Onsite experiences have had on their partnership.
Sam attended a Living Centered Program in 2020 and had a life transformational experience that affected him on a personal level and brought healing to his marriage.
He shared, “I think the real gift of the Living Centered Program for me is that it allowed me to feel okay being who I am. Finding that authentic person, that’s the real gift. And when you can love yourself, you can truly love others.”
Chrissy shared that she was inspired to attend Onsite herself in 2022 after witnessing the change in her husband and their marriage following his experience. She even says that because of Onsite she got her husband back.
Chrissy says, “I think that doing your own work in your partnership is so helpful to the relationship because it allows you to heal from the wounds that the other person triggers. In marriage, that’s just normal, we will always trigger each other’s wounds, and we will either keep re-wounding each other, or we will allow it to be a catalyst for healing. You have to do your own work, in order to allow that other person to be that healing container for you.”
In sharing their story Sam reiterated that while they have done couple’s therapeutic work together, and found it incredibly transformational, doing individualized work helped them on a different level.
“Doing your individual healing work shows your commitment to the relationship. I think doing the individual work apart from each other, showed us our individual weaknesses that we need to work on, so that we can help our relationship thrive.”
He also shared the influence that the healing they’ve found individually and together has had on their entire family unit.
“When we heal our relationship, it helps the family unit be more peaceful, and our kids get to see us doing the work together. I love that we’re normalizing that for them. I hope that it helps our kids feel calmer and more at peace. I think that we have yet to see the full benefits or effects that it will have on our family.”
One of the greatest takeaways from Sam and Chrissy’s story is how they were able to mutually support one another and how Sam was able to show up for Chrissy following her experience.
Sam shared, “I think that one thing that makes our story more unique is that coming home from my Living Centered Program, I had done a really good job of making sure that she was guarded because of my poor coping mechanisms, old narrative stories, and the armor that I put on and used to move through the world. I think the greatest gift really was that by me going first and then doing all that work when she went to Onsite, I could be that safe container that I always really wanted to be for her as a partner. I can honestly say that seeing her come home from Onsite was almost more powerful than our wedding day. A new adventure and a new journey awaited us both.”
Imagine the ripple effects an Onsite experience could offer you and the ones you love.