A few months ago, we announced the return of our renowned Coupleship program. This program helps couples learn essential skills for creating or maintaining a healthy relationship.   

Recently, Hannah Warren, Onsite’s Creative Marketing Director, sat down with Sheila Maitland, LCMHCS and facilitator of the Coupleship program to discuss the ins and outs of it.  In addition to her private practice, Sheila has been working with Onsite for over 30 years. She specializes in working with couples, helping them navigate challenges, strengthen connection, and cultivate resiliency. (Learn more about Coupleship here) 

In this thoughtful conversation, Sheila shares more about the program, who might be a good fit, and what tools and resources couples can expect to walk away with.  

Hannah: Hi Sheila, thanks for taking some time to talk with me today. To begin, can you tell me a little bit about the Coupleship program?

Sheila: The Coupleship program is different than a couple’s intensive, and it’s really for couples who have never heard from other couples the truth about coupleship. So often couples will go out to dinner with friends, but they don’t say the truth about what’s really happening in their relationship. Whereas in the Coupleship program, you are in a group with a few other couples, and you have the opportunity to support, see, feel, and relate to how other couples are walking their relationship out.

How does the backstory show up in my relationship? What’s happening currently? What skills and tools do we have for dealing with what’s happening currently? And then how do we talk about where we’re going, or what we’re hearing, seeing and feeling?  

Observing how other couples do this really validates and assists with “I’m not alone. I can’t believe that other couples struggle with this too.” And it is a beautiful way, not only to get to do your own work, but to get to learn from other couples the way you do want to do it as well as the way you don’t want to do it—that can be just as informing. 

Hannah: Why are you passionate about facilitating the Coupleship program?  

Sheila: I am passionate because I’ve seen the rewards of the work. It has helped me personally. It is one of the reasons that I am still married to the same person for 27 years. If you’re looking for a new way to connect with your partner, I am hopeful that this program can help you find it.  

Hannah: Who is a good fit for Coupleship? 

Sheila: Coupleship is for couples that want to improve their communication and connection. It’s for couples who want to rekindle and refine. It’s for couples that are feeling stuck. It’s for couples who have been together seemingly forever and for couples who want to see if they have what it takes to take the next step together. It’s also for couples who are in a season of transition and looking how to navigate it together.  

Hannah: What if what happens in my partnership feels too vulnerable to share with a group of strangers?

Sheila: While it’s normal for clients to feel reluctant to share in a group, that’s part of the magic of the program. Reluctance isn’t bad, it is welcome. We’re very gentle. We’re very intentional. And we don’t ever ask, nor do we have the power to make anybody do anything they don’t want to do. We work to establish the safety you need to feel comfortable sharing. Meeting others who are in “it” and hearing their experience, will help you learn, connect, and often normalizes your experience.  

Hannah: How does experiential therapy help couples?  

Sheila: We often over rely on our intelligence or what’s happening in our head to decipher what’s happening in our relationships. Often, when we are navigating conflict or tension with our partner, we need to decipher our subconscious patterns and what’s happening in our body to untangle what’s causing our discomfort and allow ourselves to reconnect with ourselves and our partners. Experiential therapy allows us to do just that. 

Hannah: What trends do you see working with couples in your private practice?  

Sheila: I see a lot of people who have read all the relationship books and are still struggling. They can’t seem to put what they’ve learned into practical reality. I see a lot of couples who are fixating on what’s off about their partner or partnership instead of allowing themselves to see what’s good. And I see a lot of couples who aren’t willing to take ownership for what they’re feeling. These are all things that we have the time and space to dig into and work on in a program like Coupleship. 

Hannah: What is your hope for people that attend Coupleship?  

Sheila: I hope that they’re able to be more truthful in their relationship with themselves, as well as with their partner. I think that’s one of the pieces of coupleship work that gets missed – I have to have a relationship with myself. I have to know how I feel. I have to know what I need in order to be able to ask for what I need from my partner. Often, we believe that if we are just kind to our partners, that’s a winning recipe for a relationship. But in reality, we might not be particularly kind to ourselves. We might think that we need to over-function for them, when, in fact, we really need to be taking better care of ourselves. So my hope is to really help couples find a pathway towards greater connection. 

Hannah: What would you say to someone who’s considering it but is just on the fence?  

Sheila: If you’re curious about learning more, I encourage you to call, email, or connect through the website form. The admissions team holds your hand and helps determine what resources might be the best fit for you and your partner.  

Ready to learn more? 

If you and your partner could use additional support in your relationship, we’d love to come alongside you as you work together to find a new way forward.  

When you’re ready to take the next step, our team of warm and welcoming professionals would welcome the opportunity to connect with you to explore your options—here or somewhere within our wide network.