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Episode 114: “Living Centered and the Art of Losing Control”

Featuring Katherine Morgan Schafler, LMHC

This week, join Nicole and Janet McDonald, Onsite’s VP of Strategy and Business Services, for a conversation with Katherine Morgan Schafler, New York City-based psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control. Katherine works with ambitious, perfectionistic, city-dwelling women that present externally as though they have it all together while internally, they are struggling. In this conversation, Katherine encourages us to reexamine our understanding of perfectionism and suggests that perhaps we need a massive reframe. She calls into question cultural language and societal norms and argues that we do not have to stop being perfectionists to be healthy, but rather we must harness the power of our unique and individual style of perfectionism. There’s a better way to live the lives we intend to and the methodology she shares is both simple and profound: real, authentic connection.

Meet this episode’s expert

Formerly an on-site therapist at Google, Katherine Morgan Schafler is a New York City-based psychotherapist, author, and speaker. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in psychology from UC Berkeley before pursuing two Masters from Columbia University and completing post-graduate training and certification at the Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy in NYC. Her clinical experience began at a residential treatment center in Los Angeles where she helped individuals and families move forward from trauma and abuse. She then continued her clinical work and training at The Dean Hope Center in New York City and eventually built a private practice. Katherine has spent time conducting research on cultural norming, empathic accuracy, and mind/body connections, which plays nicely with her interest in sociology and advertising and how the latter influences thoughts, feelings, and cultural norms. Her most recent book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, is out now.

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Mentioned in this episode

Emotionally Smart Leadership

Want to integrate emotional wellness into your workplace? Onsite’s Business Consulting Services can help you optimize your leadership, team, and business outcomes through customized keynotes, consulting, and workshops. 

When you become an emotionally smart leader, you’ll: 

  • Have a process for navigating the intense emotions that come with a position of leadership 
  • Connect more authentically with yourself so you can do the same with your team members 
  • Foster healthy company culture that encourages contribution and collaboration 
  • Finally see the results you crave in your leadership and in your business 

Our consulting team and clinical staff will come to you and facilitate a 4-day Emotionally Smart Leadership experience in your workplace with you and your team. If you’d like to know more, we’d love to connect you to our VP of Business Consulting Services, Janet McDonald. 


If you want to explore Emotionally Smart Leadership for yourself, we also offer a digital course that will walk you through our leadership framework at your own set pace, in the comfort of your chosen environment. This course will teach you exactly what you need to do to manage your emotions so that you can do what you do best: lead your organization to success.  

For a limited time, buy one, gift one to a friend or colleague for FREE.


The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control

We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.

Perfectionist Profile

Take the quiz and rank your results to find your perfectionist profile. Perfectionists operate on a continuum, so though one type is usually dominant, all perfectionists can embody aspects of each type within them.

In tandem with the deeper descriptions within the book, as well as your own intuition about which type best describes you, your answers will guide you to a clearer understanding of how to appreciate and manage your unique perfectionist profile.


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Katherine Morgan Schafler