Skip to content

136 “Why is it so hard to connect with the people in my life?”

with Jason VanRuler

At our core we all want to be seen, heard, valued, and connected. But few of us know how to live this in real life.  

Today’s guest, Jason VanRuler therapist, Onsite Guide, and author of the new book “Get Past Your Past,” joins Hannah and Mickenzie to provide a blueprint for creating connection with the people around us .

Together the three define what it means to truly connect, how our attachment style impacts our connections, why not everyone can hold our vulnerability, and how to identify safe people.   

Meet this episode’s expert

Jason VanRuler began his career in 2011 and has worked with many populations over the years, ranging from persons who are incarcerated to top CEOs, performers and artists, and just about everyone in between. Jason has extensive experience as a clinician, coach, and speaker and operates a multistate private practice. In 2018, Jason joined Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, TN, where he serves as a group leader and facilitator. Jason is known for his ability to relate and connect with his clients and offer hope to those who have felt hopeless. He has an engaged and rapidly growing online audience for his insightful, short videos sharing practical tips for psychological care, self-help, and healthy relationships. 

Jason enjoys spending time with his wife and three children playing games and traveling. In his spare time, Jason enjoys cycling, running, music, fly fishing, and all things personal development related. 


Jason on Instagram

Jason on TikTok

Jason on YouTube

Mentioned in this episode

In this episode:  

6:36 – Our deepest needs to be seen, heard, valued, and connection in realtionships  

9:56 – Forming safe connections and community  

15:58 – How to find safe people in our lives  

21:14 – Why our Attachment styles impacts our connection with others  

31:39 – How to navigate conflict in relationships and identifying our non-negotiables  

34:56 – Identifying what really matters in our relationships  

37:56 – Jason’s encouragement to lean into community when it doesn’t feel safe  

39:31 – How to celebrate growth within ourselves  

41:22 – A practice that keeps Jason connection to the people in his life  

Getting Past Your Past

How Facing Your Broken Places Leads to True Connection

Any of us can get stuck in our struggle. But what if brokenness–the array of behaviors and symptoms that show us that all is not as it should be with us–isn’t all there is? What if we can change?

As a licensed therapist and a man who’s dealt with his own problems–including childhood trauma, alcohol abuse, drug use, and bouts of depression–Jason VanRuler understands what you’re going through. In Get Past Your Past, he offers empathy, grace, and a hand to hold as he shares from his own places of brokenness and his professional knowledge.

Stay connected 

Onsite on Instagram & Facebook 

Lindsey Nobles on Instagram

Mickenzie Vought on Instagram

Hannah Warren on Instagram