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137 “How do I have better friendships?”

with Erin Falconer

Let’s just admit it: having friends as an adult can be difficult. Many of us struggle to find the time, emotional capacity, and intention we need to have the deep, meaningful friendships we want.  

Today Mickenzie and Lindsey sit down with Erin Falconer, psychotherapist and author of the new book How to Break Up With Your Friends, to discuss how we can find meaning and connection in our modern friendships. Erin brings honesty, permission, and the practical encouragement we all need to approach friendships with the same intention that we do all other important relationships in our lives.  

Meet this episode’s expert

Erin Falconer is a writer, digital entrepreneur, and psychotherapist. In 2022 she released the much anticipated How to Break Up with Your Friends: Finding Meaning, Connection and Boundaries in Modern Friendship, (which was named one of 2022’s ‘Next Big Ideas’ by

Malcolm Gladwell) as a follow-up to her 2018, critically acclaimed self-improvement/ female empowerment book, How to Get Shit Done: Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything. 

Since 2008, she has been the editor-in-chief and co-owner of PickTheBrain. Forbes Magazine named Falconer’s blog one of the “Top 100 Most Influential Sites for Women.” 

Erin has been heralded as one of the most influential female voices online, designated one of the Top Digital Entrepreneurs in Los Angeles by LA Confidential Magazine as well as being honored by Cadillac & Refinery 29 as one of “Top 7 Women Changing the Digital Landscape for Good.” In 2014, The Wall Street Journal included Erin in their prestigious “Women of Note.” In 2018 she was recognized as an “Architect of Change,” by Maria Shriver.

Erin is a Canadian living with her son and husband in Venice Beach, California.


PickTheBrain on Instagram

Erin on Instagram

Mentioned in this episode

In this episode:  

5:12 – Why we should audit our friendships  

9:55 – Treating friendships with the same intention as romantic relationships  

14:44 – How to do conflict resolution with friends  

17:16 – When it’s time to break-up with friends  

21:00 – Setting boundaries in friendship  

25:38 – The importance of diverse friendships  

31:58 – Friendships after an Onsite experience  

37:25 – Why we need self-awareness in our friendships  

39:50 – How our attachment styles affect our friendships  

44:02 – Repair friendships and shifting dynamics  

48:26 – Erin’s favorite practice to live centered  

How to Break Up with Your Friends

Finding Meaning, Connection, and Boundaries in Modern Friendships 

Create space for meaningful connections and set healthy boundaries with this much-needed guide to modern-day friendship.

Friends hold an especially valuable role for women―few relationships have such power to fuel us and inspire our joy. Yet even though we pride ourselves on our large networks, we tend to be afraid of rocking the boat and asking for what we really need. As a result, we end up accepting mediocrity in ourselves and our friendships far too often.

But does it really have to be this way?

In How to Break Up with Your Friends, celebrated life mentor Erin Falconer provides a refreshing guide to modern-day friendships―along with deeper principles, assessments, and practices for nurturing them.

Stay connected 

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Lindsey Nobles on Instagram

Mickenzie Vought on Instagram

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