Why You Self-Satotage and Why You Deserve Good Things
An Onsite Session on Self-Sabotage and Worth with Onsite’s Vice President of Clinical Services, Heather Schnoebelen
What This Session Explores
- Why self-sabotage happens (and why it’s not random)
- The connection between self-worth, shame, and behavior
- How early experiences shape your sense of deserving
- Why your nervous system may reject good things
- The difference between guilt (“I did something bad”) and shame (“I am bad”)
- A guided exercise to identify your self-sabotage patterns
- Practical tools for building self-compassion and awareness
Self-sabotage can feel confusing, frustrating, and deeply personal—like you’re the only one standing in your own way. But what this session makes clear is that these patterns don’t come from nowhere. They are shaped over time through experiences, relationships, and the beliefs you formed about yourself along the way.
Heather Schnoebelen walks through how self-worth sits at the center of self-sabotage. When you don’t believe you’re worthy of good things, you may unknowingly push them away, whether that’s in relationships, work, or personal growth. What looks like avoidance or “messing things up” is often a nervous system trying to stay within what feels familiar, even if that familiarity is limiting or painful.
This session also reframes the conversation around shame and guilt, helping you understand how internalized beliefs like “I am bad” can quietly drive your behavior. Through reflection and practical exercises, you’ll begin to recognize how these patterns show up in real time. Also, how to respond with more awareness and compassion.
Because the goal isn’t to judge or eliminate these parts of yourself.
It’s to understand them. So you can finally start to move differently.
Heather Schnoebelen is the Vice President of Clinical Services at Onsite, where she leads and supports a team of expert clinicians guiding individuals through deep emotional and relational healing work. With extensive experience in trauma, self-worth, and personal transformation, Heather specializes in helping people understand the underlying patterns that keep them stuck—so they can reconnect with themselves, build healthier relationships, and experience lasting change.
Explore More of Onsite
Healing and growth don’t happen in just one way. Whether you’re seeking immersive, in-person work or accessible support you can engage from anywhere, Onsite offers multiple pathways to meet you where you are.
Healing Trauma
Healing Trauma is an experiential group intensive designed for people ready to address the impact of past experiences on their present lives. Guided by master clinicians, participants explore how trauma lives in the body, shapes relationships, and influences the way they see themselves. Through therapy, skill-building, and meaningful group connection, this program helps create safety inside the nervous system, release long-held patterns, and restore a sense of choice and stability.
Living Centered
Living Centered is an experiential group intensive created for adults seeking greater emotional health and relational well-being, whether or not they identify with trauma. Guided by skilled clinicians, participants explore patterns that keep them stuck, such as anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency, and disconnection from self. Through practical tools, reflective exercises, and supportive community, this program helps individuals strengthen boundaries, reconnect with their needs, and build a more grounded, intentional way of living.
Wherever you are on your journey, there’s a next step here.