When You Love Too Much

What This Session Explores

 

• How anxious attachment develops in early relationships
• The difference between intensity and true intimacy
• Why reassurance often doesn’t feel enough
• How fear of abandonment lives in the body
• Practical steps to self-attune instead of react

Attachment styles are the first map we receive for how relationships work. When care was inconsistent or unpredictable, many people learned to stay safe by staying close — watching for signs of distance and doing whatever was needed to keep connection alive. In adulthood, this can look like needing immediate resolution after conflict, adjusting yourself to match what someone wants, or feeling intense anxiety when communication slows. Ryan explains that these behaviors are not evidence of loving “too much,” but signals from a nervous system trying to prevent loss.

The session invites viewers to notice the sensations beneath the urge to fix or pursue. Through a guided exercise, Ryan helps identify the fear and the need underneath anxious attachment, and offers a compassionate way to respond to yourself in those moments. Rather than chasing reassurance, the work becomes learning to come home to your own steadiness.

She also explores how intensity can be mistaken for intimacy, and how secure relationships are built on reciprocity and ease rather than urgency. Attachment patterns can change, and we can show up differently in different relationships. Understanding the template is the first step toward choosing something new.

Ryan Snodgrass is the Clinical Director at Onsite and works extensively with individuals navigating attachment wounds, relational anxiety, and emotional regulation.