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How to Create the Connection You Deserve 

We all long to be seen and known. To belong. To be loved for who we are. 

Relationships ebb and flow throughout our lives, but one thing remains—we are wired for connection. And connection is more than romantic love. It’s the way we can sit in silence with a good friend. It’s the way we can laugh and play with a child in our lives. It’s the ability to be with oneself without needing to drown out the silence.  

But often, especially on days like today, connection can get overrun by consumerism, causing us to compare what we have and what we want with the rest of what the world is presenting to us. For some of us, Valentine’s Day can be a day of joy, fun, desire, or friendship. But for others, the thought of seeing one more red heart-shaped candy can make us want to burst. 

No matter what today brings up for you, know your feelings are welcome here. If today is happy, we celebrate you. If today is lonely, we honor you. If today is confusing and hard, there is room for you. 

Whether you are traditionally partnered or not, you deserve connection. Here are a few gentle reminders you may need to hear today: 

Things you might need to hear if you’re not in a relationship:

  • You are worth investing in  
  • You are not behind  
  • You are not subject to cultural timelines or expectations of relationships  
  • Desire is okay  
  • You can still be deeply connected without having a partner  
  • Your relationship status does not define you  
  • It’s okay to turn off your social media today   

Things you might need to hear today if you are in a relationship:

  • There’s room for you in the we  
  • Your individual desires, wants, and dreams are needed  
  • Intimacy and connection are daily choices, not just meant for a once-a-year holiday  
  • You deserve to feel appreciated  
  • Your partner does not complete you  
  • You are already whole  
  • It is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy  
  • The best thing you can bring to any relationship is a whole and healthy you  

It Starts with You 

We all long to be seen, known, and valued—but often, in a bid for connection, we seek that out in others before we even look for it in ourselves. Connecting with ourselves is foundational for healthy connections with others. In addition, it is one of the most important things we can do for our mental, emotional, and physical health.  

Today, we invite you to look inward. Here are nine ways to connect with yourself before you seek it from others!   

Nine Ways to Connect With Yourself

  1. Create a morning practice and do what you can to protect that time.   
  1. Create a physical space that inspires you and makes you feel safe.  
  1. Use your breath to become present and notice what’s going on within you.   
  1. Set intentions for the day and repeat them to yourself throughout the day.   
  1. Practice mindful movement.  
  1. Notice the quality of your energy: what are you feeling, and how is it showing up in your body?   
  1. Pause before committing to something or someone.   
  1. Get outside and engage your senses in nature.  
  1. Write down a list of things you find beautiful throughout the day, taking time to appreciate them, big and small.   

Today and every day, may you know that you are worthy of love, connection, and belonging. May you find the space and grace you deserve to curate the connection you long for.  

How do you intentionally connect with yourself? 

Two people sitting at a picnic table
A man standing next to a creek in a forest
man giving a woman a piggyback ride